If Hyphenated

In Honor of the old Laugh-In Show

If Yoko Ono married Sonny Bono, she’d be Yoko Ono Bono.

If Dolly Parton married Salvador Dali, she’d be Dolly Dali.

If Bo Derek married Don Ho, she’d be Bo Ho.

If Olivia Newton-John married Wayne Newton, divorced him, then married Elton John, she’d be Olivia Newton-John Newton John.

If Sondra Locke married Elliott Ness, then divorced him to marry Herman Munster, she’d be Sondra Locke Ness Munster.

If Liv Ullman married Judge Lance Ito, divorced him and then married Jerry Mathers, she’d be Liv Ito Beaver.

If Snoop Doggy Dogg married Winnie the Pooh, he’d be Snoop Doggy Dogg Pooh.

If Woody Allen married Natalie Wood, divorced her and married Gregory Peck, divorced him and married Ben Hur, he’d be Woody Wood Peck Hur.

If Dolly Parton married Tommy Smothers, then went even further back in show business and married Mr. Lucky, then divorced and married Martin Short, then divorced and married football kicker Ray Guy, we could all nod understandingly when we heard, “Dolly Parton Smothers Lucky Short Guy.”

If a Palestinian married a Swede, what might they name their male offspring? Yassir Youbetcha!

If Ella Fitzgerald married Darth Vader, she’d be Ella Vader.

If Ella Fitzgerald married Alan Funt (of Candid Camera fame) she’d be Ella Funt.

If Heidi Klum married Don Ho, divorced him and married Jim Nabors (Goober) she’d be Heidi Ho Nabors.

If Ivana Trump married Neil Diamond, divorced him and married Jack Nicklaus, she’d be Ivana Diamond Nicklaus.

If Whoopie Goldberg married Peter Cushing, she’d be Whoopie Cushing.